It is interesting to have this
question up this week with Valentine’s Day recently passing us. I think that in
many different cases we always seem to look for the little things in any given
situation. For instance, with Valentine’s Day we see how that saying really is
true. In many relationships girls expect their significant others to do little things
to show them that they care. For instance on Valentine’s Day many girls would
want their boyfriends, or husbands to buy them flowers or chocolate to show
them that they love them. If not materialistic gifts, people tend to do other
smaller things or gestures to indirectly make this statement of loving another.
One can sometimes know how much someone loves you just by realizing the “look”
they get from another person. The indirect communication from ones eyes can say
more than actually having to speak words. Sometimes it’s even doing things like
taking care of the children for a night so the wife or husband can go out with
their friends. Or even something special that the two of you can share such as
breakfast in bed, or going on a date night.
Another example of this outside of
relationships can be with the use of drugs. For the past two winter breaks I
have been volunteering at a drug and abuse center where I worked with individuals
by spending time with them at the rehab center. Here I was able to pick up on
the smaller signals that were presented to me by some of these patients. This also
happens with alcohol abuse. In many instances many alcoholics refuse to believe
that they are addicted to the substance. Thus, the first sign is that of
denial. Individuals refuse to believe they have a problem, ad even when families
notice a change in behavior they help make them see their changes to make them
more apparent. Once people are able to see that they are having problems most
will agree to make commitments to change and quit by going to rehab. However,
just saying they will go and actually going does not always mean that they will
completely give up this addiction. In many cases it can be very easy for one to
go to rehab, come out clean and then a few months later get back in to their
old habits.
Thus, I definitely think that
actions speak much louder than words only because people can say a lot of
things but they don’t always have to mean them. This happens all the time when
people say one thing to someone and talk behind their backs to someone else. People
need to be shown that they are loved and cared for which is why the role of
nurture plays a significant role in everyone’s life.
It was interesting that you brought up Valentine's day. It may be that what's communicated depends on how long the couple has been together. In my household, buying the flowers may not be such a big deal, but not buying them would communicate volumes...of the wrong sort.
ReplyDeleteIn the drugs and abuse center example you gave, I didn't understand whether the signals you were picking up on were actively sent or not. I did get that denial for the not yet confirmed alcoholic is an inadvertent signal.
I also discussed eye contact in relationships as an inadvertent means of communication. It was the first think that popped in my head when I thought about the subject. Facial expressions really can be a means of communication without someone intending to create a message in the first place. It is actually I quite interesting topic. The fact that a lot of people act on impulse when reacting to a situation. An example of this would be if you had a problem with someone, and they just entered the same room as you, you might react to this action with a mean face, or disgusted face without even noticing (usually the case when one female has a problem with another female).
ReplyDeleteYour job at the rehab center sounds like it was quite interesting, and I'm sure it allowed you to put your life into perspective every day. I think that example is very good because there are so many drug users out there who promise people that they really care about that they will enter rehab, but they never do. That is a perfect case of the actual action of going to rehab outweighing the promise that this person will go to rehab. Family members, friends, and the drug user were all lied to, which is never good. I have always been taught to follow through with what I say I am going to do, but I do understand how hard an addiction can be.